I’ve started and stopped this “blog” more times than I can count. It’s been a travel diary and an entrepreneurial career girl site. It’s been a lifestyle blog—minus the Instagram influencer factor. And it’s been a rambling disarray of essays that are far too personal for publication at this point in my life.
Through these numerous endeavors, there’s been one common thread woven between the strands: It’s been a place where I write about things. Typically, my posts have been curated to fit the “blogger” mold. Even my messiest posts—raw ones about life and loss and anxiety—have been written with a specific voice in mind. And it’s wasn’t my voice.
Today is World Mental Health Day, and I find myself searching for the reset button. The first class in my master’s program is winding down, so I’ve been scrambling all week to write my final discussion boards and start the 10-page paper that’s been looming over my head. I’m tired.
In search of something to read today, I started searching Instagram. I started with #WorldMentalHealthDay and ended up on a variety of self-care pages with beautiful graphics that said things like, “Be a reflection of what you’d like to see in others.”
In others, I’d like to see authenticity and originality. I’d like to see less perfect curation and more messy truth. I want to read about mental health and mindful practices. I want to follow strong people with real emotions—the ones who struggle but also overcome. I want to climb a mountain not just because it looks cool on social media but so I can breathe deep and feel my lungs ache as they burst with fresh air.
I’m an anxiety sufferer … someday I’ll probably tell you more about it. I’m also a writer by trade who’s in need of an outlet. So, I’m going to use my site—the one I pay for that has worn so many masks in the past—and I’m going to do it. If no one reads it, that’s fine. But if someone finds it and it helps them feel safe in what they’re going through, that’s even better.
Cheers to a new adventure and a clean slate.
PS—This site also used to be my “professional writing portfolio.” There’s still a corner of the site dedicated to this. Click here.